Two weeks of fear are over

day was our appointment with Maternal Fetal Medicine to have an ultrasound. It was a VERY long ultrasound that pretty much left no stone unturned (except baby's gender), and ended with the most incredible, and amazing news. Our little baby is developing exactly as it should. Everything looked normal. EVERYTHING. From its brain to its kidneys, from its heart to its stomach. Things were where they should be, the size they should be and functioning as they should be. We feel as though a huge weight has been lifted from our shoulders, and we are elated and relieved beyond words. It is the completely opposite feeling we had the first time we stepped foot out of that office, and we couldn't be happier. There is a lump in my throat as I think of all the people who have been praying for us, and I am comforted in knowing that the Lord was with us through it all. Thank you to all of you. Also, I am sorry if I worried anyone (Marde) by not calling or blogging promptly. I know I have a tendency to close in and shut people out when something bad happens (for example finding out our last baby had a heart defect, I kept to myself, cried a lot, and didn't answer the phone), so I understand why you may have thought the worst. It wasn't my intention to upset anyone.

Anyway, here are a few ultrasound pics (sorry about the terrible quality).

That is the baby's heart and heart rate. The rate was 137 bpm.

This is a view of baby's nose viewing upwards from the chin. I thought it was funny because it reminds me of the end of Charlie Brown's Christmas when they all face up to sing "Hark the Herald Angels Sing" Its showing that the baby does not have a cleft lip.

Baby's adorable profile. SO CUTE.

Ps. We decided not to find out the gender of the baby, but Scott thinks he saw evidence of a boy, and the Ultrasound lady said "he" a few times. I'm still holding onto the hope of another girl though. We'll find out in May I guess.

Christmas Letter 2010

For those of you who didn't already get our family Christmas letter in the mail. Here's the blog version. (ps..this is how we announced our pregnancy, so I know you already know, but when I wrote it, nobody knew.)

So far 2010 has been just great,

We've a lot to be thankful for,

Here's a recap of what we've had on our plate,

And the things we have in store.

Corbin is six; He started school in the fall,

He's such a brilliant kid,

He's not very big and not very tall,

But his brain power flips my lid.

He's such a good brother, an amazing child,

He brightens up our lives,

He's quiet and content and rarely goes wild,

And he's good at everything he tries.

Dexter is adorable he's crazy and it shows,

He runs and plays and wiggles,

He causes mischief wherever he goes,

But always makes us giggle.

He's sweet and cuddly, a real mama's boy,

But he likes things to be his way,

And if you're not careful, he'll take your toy,

But his kisses will make it okay.

Ivy is a fan of 2010,

No surgeries from which to recover,

You wouldn't believe how healthy she's been,

The world is hers to discover.

In the last year she's learned to walk,

And run and jump and climb,

She eats like a champ, and loves to talk,

And be Dexter's partner in crime.

Scott is the greatest, as you already know,

He recovered from surgery in July,

He makes my life easy, and makes my heart glow,

He's an all around wonderful guy.

Rochelle is so happy being a wife and mother,

She can't believe how fast time flies,

The kids are so great, why not have another,

Guess what? She's pregnant......Surprise!

Merry Christmas to all! We hope it goes great,

Good luck in the New Year too,

Remember the Savior, for Heaven's sake,

And know that we love all of you.

Merry Christmas!

Love, Scott, Rochelle, Corbin, Dexter, and Ivy Brunson

Ivy's heart update/living the next 2 wks in fear

Ivy's heart update:

Ivy had an appointment with her cardiologist, the fantastically quirky Dr. Womack today. He said that our little Ives is doing magnificently. He specifically called her an adorable pistol. Her sats are in the normal range (for her) at around 77 percent, and pretty much nothing else has changed. Dr. Womack couldn't believe how big she is now, and just gushed over her cuteness (as most people do). No need for an echo for another 6 months. We're so happy for our healthy little firecracker!

Living in fear:

Being pregnant at Dr. Womack's office brought back memories of June 2008 when we first met him so that he could confirm the regular doctors suspicion of Ivy's heart defect. I was 20 weeks pregnant at the time, and it was a truly awful day. Today I am about 16 1/2 weeks along, and living in fear of history repeating itself. Unless you have had a baby born with any sort of health issues you can't know the feelings that I go through. My number one fear is that I caused Ivy's heart defect, and that it can happen again. Every doctor assures me that it was nothing I did, but they also cannot give a clear-cut answer of what did cause it, and so I live with the fear that it could have been me. What if I did something wrong. I was not always consistent with taking my prenatal vitamins, and I drank caffeine. Also, I have always known that taking advil/motrin while pregnant is a big no-no, and therefore have been very careful to avoid them. But when Ivy was about 6 months old I learned that taking them while pregnant can cause heart defects, and I began to doubt myself. What if I took some before I knew I was pregnant, or took some by mistake? Its a horrible feeling to have this guilt, but its there, and I can't help it. This time around I've been more careful, avoiding caffeine, taking my prenatals EVERY SINGLE DAY, getting lots of exercise and plenty of rest, eating better and of course, sticking with tylenol. I have an appointment with Maternal Fetal Medicine two days after Christmas to have a thorough ultrasound to check the baby's heart and other organs to make sure everything is developing correctly, and until that day, I fear for this baby. I pray that Heavenly Father won't let it happen again. I pray that I don't have to watch another baby go through countless surgeries and pain in order to live a somewhat normal life, but I am still afraid. I don't know how I'm going to make it through these next two weeks.

can I just say....

My kids are freakin' adorable!

Corbin likes to wear mom's winter boots with his jammies (or any other time. For some reason these boots are quite the coveted item in our house).

Dex sleeping in his jessie hat and moon boots (and this isn't the only time its happened! I could have posted pictures of the exact same situation but on a different day).

Ivy loves her tights. She always wants to wear them. She's such a girlie-girl (which is weird for me since I'm not). But can you blame her for wanting to wear them? They are CUTE. I wish I had some too!

Still a Miracle at Two

Ivy turned two yesterday! Can you believe it? I can barely wrap may brain around the fact that it has been two whole years since that adorable little girl came into our lives. She has brought so many blessings to our family and so much joy. She makes us so happy every single day that I can't even tell you about it without sounding like the cheesiest cheese-ball on the the face of the planet (too late right?). She's so cute and happy and wonderful that its unfathomable. I swear that she is the happiest person I know, even though she's got more reasons not to be than most of us. I can't imagine my life without her, it would be incomplete. I'm so grateful that Heavenly Father let her stay with us this long, and pray everyday that she can stay longer. I love her so much.

Here's a somewhat related funny story: The other night I started to watch the videos we took from the day Ivy was born, which included labor, delivery, her first echo-cardiogram, all her IV's and wires, her life-flight transport from one hospital to the other, me holding her for the first time, and Scott holding her for the first time. In case you were wondering, yes, I cried, I always cry. Anyway, that is beside the point. Corbin watched these videos with me and as a direct result the questions about where babies come from started flying from his mouth. Not that he's never asked before, but I've always gotten away with being very vague. Not this time. I had to answer these questions (without assistance from his father) in great detail. He wouldn't accept vague answers, he wanted DETAILS! To the point where he asked if he could see where they stitched up my episiotomy (no he didn't use that word, but that's what he meant!) Of course, the answer to that was NO. It was crazy, because he really seemed like he was grasping what I was saying, because he asked some pretty intelligent questions (maybe he'll be a doctor. Fingers crossed), but I was still cringing on the inside. The whole conversation was quite traumatizing for me, and probably him too! It makes me wonder about other families. So riddle me this readers: How old were your kids when they first asked? and What did you say? I am already having nightmares about when Dex starts asking. Ivy I can handle, she's a girl, somehow I think that makes it easier, but the boys......I don't want to tell them! It scares the crap out of me!

Anyway, back to Ives. Scott made this amazing video to chronicle her second year of life, so watch it and enjoy, and if you've got time, take a look back at her birth video and her one year old video. They are wonderful! Scott's so awesome!

Ivy's 2nd Birthday

Ivy's 1st Birthday

Ivy's Birth Video

Braggin' Wagon Wednesday: Bye Bye Bottle

Ivy was never breast-fed. As a heart baby, the doctors felt her heart was too weak to put so much effort into eating. She was fed through a tube in her nose for the first 5 weeks of her life. On week 5 they decided to try feeding her with a bottle. It was a struggle for a long time, and she still had to have the feeding tube for a few months after coming home from the hospital. Eventually, she learned to love her bottle, and loved to eat. She became pretty attached to the bottle. This is something I hadn't experienced with the boys since they were breastfed and weaned straight to a sippy-cup. I used the bottle to give her all of her medications, by adding them to milk, then she'd drink it, thus getting her meds without any problems. Ivy is now 22 months old, and in my eyes, WAY too old for a bottle. I've been thinking about this for a while, but didn't have the determination to go through sleepless nights and forcing Ivy to take the meds like a regular person. Last week I decided now is the time. I put all her bottles away, got out Dexy's old sippy-cups, and cut her off. That day I gave her the meds like I should have been giving them to her all along, and she took them without fighting or crying. I put her down for a nap without a bottle (this is the part I was most nervous about), she slept. That night we gave her the night meds normally as well (with a little fighting), and laid her down for bedtime. She cried. For a long time. We held strong. Finally she slept.

Its been 5 days now, and she is doing great. She takes her meds twice a day without crying or fighting, and she goes to sleep at naps and bedtime with minimal protests and crying. What a superstar. Our little girl is growing up!

Here she is sleeping in her crib/toddler bed without the aid of a bottle. Yay!

Sunday Afternoon

Today was such a beautiful day. After church and naps we decided it would be fun to go walk around the Boise Temple grounds. It was HOT, but the kids loved it. They especially liked the fountain, and the hills to roll down. That may be against the rules, but no one else was there and its not like they hurt anything. Here are some pics of us enjoying ourselves.

Dex was in a running mood, this is just one of 3 pictures with him running away right when I click the button!

Braggin' Wagon Wednesday:Ivy Talks

Ivy's getting bigger everyday. She finally hit twenty pounds and is officially big enough for her car seat now. She also grew 2 inches in the last month and a half and is 30 inches tall. She's so cute and silly and a total joy to be around. Here's a little video of her saying a bunch of words. She's just about the cutest thing I've ever seen!

The Link

Braggin' Wagon Wednesday: Dare to Compare

Is it me or do I have the cutest kids EVER?! I know, I'm biased, but you can't deny their cuteness! Anyway, recently it dawned on me that Ivy is the exact same age Dexter was when Ivy was born. Can you imagine if I had another baby right now?! I can't! Whew, so far I've dodged that bullet! Anyway, this realization is weird to me because Ivy still seems like such a baby, whereas Dex didn't. By this age he'd already almost bit off his tongue by jumping off the coffee table. Ivy can't even jump yet, let alone climb up on the coffee table! So I thought I'd let you decide if Ivy still seems babyish compared to her brothers when they were her age. Since you don't see her everyday, and don't know her like I do, maybe you can be a better judge than I. Here goes, dare to compare.

Corbin - 2 months (I don't have digital newborn pics)

Dexy - Birth

Ivy - birth

Corbin - 6 months

Dex - 6 months

Ivy - 6 months

Corbin - 1 year

Dex - 1 year

Ivy - 1 year

Corbin - 19/20 months (ish)

Dexter - 19/20 months (ish)

Ivy - 19/20 months (ish)

What do you think? Baby or big girl?

Braggin' Wagon Wednesday: Meeting A Celebrity

Have you ever met a celebrity? Well, I have to brag that this past weekend Scott and I did! A celebrity right here in Boise, Idaho. Who'da thunk it?! This is a person who has been in the news a lot lately. He is the only good guy in a huge television scandal. He lost his job, but had an unbelievable following of supporters. He just got a new show on TBS. Are you on "Team Coco?"

That's right.......

Wait for it...........

Ladies and gentlemen........

It's Conan O'Brien!!

Admit it, I really had you going there for a second!

Braggin' Wagon Wednesday: Dancing Queen

First here's a little update on Ivy. She had her 18 month well check last week as well as her semi-annual echo cardiogram. She now weighs 19 lbs 12 oz (still under the 3rd percentile, but actually jumped up just a touch), and she is 28 1/2 inches tall. Her echo went okay, she was "sedated" with some medicine that was supposed to make her happy and agreeable so the doctor wouldn't have such a hard time getting a look at her heart with her fighting. It didn't work and she screamed and squirmed the whole time anyway. He still got a good enough look to tell us that everything looked exactly as he had expected. We were also able to take away one of her medications, so now she just has three. She is doing so well, and we are so proud of her progress.

In other news, Ivy has discovered some new skills the last couple of weeks. She can now walk backwards, march, spin in circles and dance. She's especially fond of spinning and dancing, so we constantly find her spinning all around the house, or booty dancing when any music is playing. She's so cute and funny. Here's some video of her doing those two things.

Braggin' Wagon Wednesday

Ivy is 17 months old today. We set a goal a few months ago when she finally started crawl/scooting that we wanted her to be walking by 18 months. We worked hard, practiced everyday. She would take 3 or 4 steps between me and Scott or the physical therapist, and was doing awesome. Well last week while my sister's family was visiting for spring break, she did it. She started walking on her own. She can actually stand up in the middle of the floor without help from anybody, and slowly make it to her destination. She falls a lot, and can't do it with shoes on, but the important thing is that she can do it. A full month before our goal date. She's a superstar.

Whenever Ivy hits a milestone it seems so amazing to me. Far more amazing than when her brothers hit those milestones. She's always late, but she has to work so hard to hit them that they seem like more of an accomplishment. I'm always so proud. (Not that I wasn't proud of the boys, but they all came without effort for them). When I think about how almost two years ago when we found out she would be born with some problems, and we didn't know if she would live, or if she did what kind of life she would have, it still makes me cry. I look at her cute little face and sweet personality and feel blessed everyday. She's a perfect little person with an imperfect little heart and lives everyday fighting for what comes easy to others. She is so amazing, and seeing her tiny, 3rd percentile little body finally walking around the living room has me in awe. You are a miracle Ivy and truly give me reason to brag. I'm grateful everyday that I get to be your mom. Love you babe, keep up the good work!

Your Mama Dresses You Funny

Look at you with your mismatched stripes and polka-dots. You're a mini fashion nightmare! What was your mother thinking? She should be ashamed of herself.

That being said.....You're still the most adorable little girl I've ever seen!

Getting Another Asterix By My Name

Don't you always have your kids' best interest in mind? Wouldn't you do whatever it takes to make sure they are happy, healthy, and thriving? I know I would, and apparently, I do. As everyone knows when Ivy was hospitalized in July and her surgery was cancelled, I was.....peeved, to say the least! I fought with the doctors and tried to force them into admitting their mistakes, and in the process, didn't make very many friends. When we went back in October for the rescheduled surgery, I was going to make sure we weren't screwed again, and I put up a fight when a certain doctor wanted to do something I considered unnecessary. (Dr. Jerkface, in case you don't recall). Pretty soon Dr. Jerkface refused to work with us and the other cardiologists made sure that we were happy. They were basically walking on eggshells. I'm pretty sure there was a big fat asterix next to my name in Ivy's medical records telling the docs "Mom is a fire that needs putting out, and try not to make her angry again!" Which is fine, because I never have to see that doctor again, Ivy got the treatment she needed, and Scott and I got the respect we deserved for being her parents.

Well, I think I got another asterix today. This time at the pharmacy. I've been going to this pharmacy since first bringing Ivy home from the hospital 13 months ago. We have to since Ivy's main medication normally comes in a pill form, its hard to come by in a liquid. We can only get it at a hospital pharmacy. Anyway, you'd think that by now, they could get it right. We had a lot of problems right at first because Ivy is required to be on Amoxicillian (an antibiotic) all the time since she doesn't have a spleen and can't fight infection on her own. It's a very long story that involved a lot of wasted medicine and me getting angry because they just didn't understand that she needed it all the time. It took them at least 6 months before they figured it out! It was so annoying. Once they got that under control we were good for about 3 months. Then Ivy's dosage for her most important medicine, enalapril (a heart medicine)was changed so that it was more than doubled. I called them, informed them of the change, the doctors office faxed over the new prescription, and they proceeded to fill it for the old amount. I immediately told them at the pick up window that it was wrong, and they told me to come back in a few days and they'd give me the rest so it would last the whole month. To make a very long story short, this was the beginning of an avalanche of miscommunication and under-filled prescriptions. It was so FRUSTRATING! So after having to go back to the pharmacy 3 times in 3 weeks in January, I've had enough! Last night night I ran out of the enalapril a full week early, I didn't even have enough for her regular dose. I was fuming mad, and called the pharmacy right then and left them a 5 minute long angry message. (I basically told them if anything happened to her for not getting her regular dose, I would hold them responsible) Today the pharmacy opened at 8:30, and they called me at 8:30 on the dot, to tell me that Ivy's refills were ready and that they double and triple checked to make sure I recieved a full 30 day supply. They were overly nice at the pick up window, and named off everything as they put it in the bag. Needless to say, seems like I got a new asterix. I don't care, I'll do whatever it takes to make sure its done right. I think making sure a life saving medicine is correct is pretty darn important, and if I have to step on some toes to get it done, I will!

Confessions of a Sleep Deprived Mom

It has now been 13 months exactly since we first brought our little Ivy home from the hospital. 15 months and 25 days since she was born, and therefore, 15 months and 25 days of my getting up every three hours to feed our little girl. Technically for the first 7 weeks I didn't feed her every three hours, I pumped for breast milk every three hours (which was worse, it was uncomfortable, freezing cold, and took forever!). Of course there are a few exemptions to the 15 months and 25 days, such as, she's been hospitalized twice since then, and during each of those times I got one night of uninterrupted slumber. That's it.

Now it's no secret that this isn't exactly my favorite part of being this special girls mom. Mostly because I complain about it to any and everyone who will listen. Any mom knows what I am talking about, getting up to feed your baby at night is hard, but at least most babies begin to sleep through the night between about 6 months to a year of age. Mine did too, except, I was forbidden to allow it. On doctor's orders I still had to wake up every three hours to feed her, whether she was awake or not. Not fun, for either one of us.

Recently, Sweet Ivy started to crawl (well...scoot, whatever). She's adventurous and excited to check out all the corners of the house and explores on a regular basis. This is all great news except that, now she doesn't want to sleep anymore. She fights bedtime and naptime. FIGHTS IT!! She used to lay down for both easily. We'd put her down while she was still awake, give her the paci, pull up her blankets, and she'd snuggle down and go to sleep. Not anymore. Now we lay her down, she refuses the paci, kicks the blanket away, and cries herself to sleep. EVERY TIME. This isn't even the worst part. I still have to get up with her in the night, when I do, she drinks her bottle and then throws a fit instead of going back to sleep. So I rock her in the rocking chair, and she sleeps. I try to put her back in the crib, she wakes up and throws a fit all over again. Its frustrating.

Last night I had had enough. When she woke up for her 12:45 am feeding, I gave her the bottle and she refused it. I tried to give her the paci, again she refused it. She kicked her blanket off and cried....and cried....and cried. I picked her up and rocked her, for 20 minutes and she slept. I try to lay her down, she wakes up and again throws a fit. I walked away, closed the door behind me, went back to my room, turned off the baby monitor, and went back to sleep. I don't know how long she cried, or if she cried again. I slept. I slept until 7:30 am.

Now I feel guilty, but I've come to a decision. I don't care what the doctor says. I am going to ween her from needing to eat at night. I've already got one rough night behind me! She's gaining good weight now and I don't feel she needs it anymore...and I just can't take it anymore! I think I'll keep this a secret from the doctor and nurse until its already done, so they don't try to talk me out of it. I bet her weight gain will still be fine and they won't even notice.

Ivy has survived night one, and doesn't seem food deprived or angry...on to night two!

Ps...HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAD!

Brunson Kid Updates

First off there's Ivy. This girl can now really get around. She still does her silly scoot thing, but she's getting pretty fast. I find it easy to lose track of her. The other day we were upstairs bathing the boys and I turned around for just a second to wash their hair, when I heard the unmistakable sound of something falling down the stairs. I'm not gonna lie, I think I had a mini-heart attack as i ran out of the bathroom to see her sitting at the top of the stairs staring down at the ball she had just rolled down. PHEW!!! I picked her up and brought her in the bathroom with me, stood her next to the tub to watch the boys, and now she loves it. Every time they have a bath she is standing there watching and giggling.She switched to a toddler formula at the end of the year, and loves it. She started gaining good weight. Even gaining 13 1/2 ounces in just a week. She's a superstar. She loves to eat, and is enjoying the typical Brunson family favorites, such as yogurt, cheese, and cottage cheese.

I recently met some women in my ward that have heart babies as well, although their babies aren't babies anymore, and are actually 19 year old girls. The interesting thing about them is that one of the girls has hypoplastic left heart syndrome also, and was the first baby to survive the Norwood surgery at Primary children's (that is the first surgery that Ivy had when she was 6 days old). It was great to meet them and very encouraging to hear that their daughters are doing so well. Anyway, enough on Ivy for today.

Dexter's turn. Dex is still rambunctious and crazy, and a lot of fun. He sometimes has the tendency to torture his brother and sister, but I don't think it's always on purpose. He's learning his abc's, and learning to sing songs and recognize tunes. He is loving nursery at church, even though he isn't in our class anymore.

He recently discovered an old stuffed panda bear in the toy box (I'm pretty sure we've had it forever, because I used to collect them and its probably from my teenage years), anyway, he's pretty obsessed with it and carries him around everywhere we go. He named it poobah, and loves to introduce everyone that comes over to his new best friend. It's funny and really makes us laugh. The other day he told our home teachers that its tail was not a tail, but in fact poo. We all had a good laugh, but I'm sure my face was pretty red with embarrassment.

I'm thinking of putting him in two years of preschool instead of one, just to give myself a little more sanity, so we'll probably be registering him next month and then he'd start in september. And lets face it, if he doesn't know the difference between a tail and poo, he could use a little extra school.


Corbin is also doing well. I'm constantly amazed by how smart and observant he is. Over the last couple of weeks he has become really interested in the music I listen to in the car. Even having a few favorite songs, for example we were listening to The Muse and he loved number three (Supermassive Black Hole from the Black Holes and Revelations album). He constantly requests me to "change it to number 3" and he and Dex both giggle like crazy during the whispery parts. He even recognizes music from the car if I happen to be playing it inside while I clean the house. He's so dang smart.

He is, of course, loving school. The other day was Pj day and he was a little confused about wearing his jammies to school, and I think thought I was a crazy for making him. Once he got there and realized that everyone was wearing them, he got over it, and actually had a great time watching a movie and eating snacks in his pj's with all his school friends.

He still enjoys church, and never complains about going. He had a little trouble adjusting to changing teachers in primary for the new year, but got over it quickly when he realized his new teacher was just as nice and fun as his old one. He's done really well the last couple of weeks and goes to class without shedding a tear.

Crab walk vs Crawling. You Decide.

So about a month ago I asked Ivy's physical therapist, Katy, if she was one of those people against a baby walking without ever crawling. She said she wasn't against it, but she would prefer a crawl first. I was thinking that Ivy might completely skip on the whole crawling thing since she refused to be on her hands and knees, and liked to stand. Well, as it turns out, she fooled us both and did a crab-walk first. It's like a 50% walk, 50% crawl that's 100% adorable! She first did it on December 26th, which was exactly one year to the day since she was first released from primary childrens. What a wonderful one year anniversary present! She's also pulling herself into a standing position and cruising along the furniture like crazy. She is really blossoming and its very exciting for us. Check out our cute little missy on this video and see what I mean. She is one cute little thing.



as usual, here's the link