Confessions of a Sleep Deprived Mom

It has now been 13 months exactly since we first brought our little Ivy home from the hospital. 15 months and 25 days since she was born, and therefore, 15 months and 25 days of my getting up every three hours to feed our little girl. Technically for the first 7 weeks I didn't feed her every three hours, I pumped for breast milk every three hours (which was worse, it was uncomfortable, freezing cold, and took forever!). Of course there are a few exemptions to the 15 months and 25 days, such as, she's been hospitalized twice since then, and during each of those times I got one night of uninterrupted slumber. That's it.

Now it's no secret that this isn't exactly my favorite part of being this special girls mom. Mostly because I complain about it to any and everyone who will listen. Any mom knows what I am talking about, getting up to feed your baby at night is hard, but at least most babies begin to sleep through the night between about 6 months to a year of age. Mine did too, except, I was forbidden to allow it. On doctor's orders I still had to wake up every three hours to feed her, whether she was awake or not. Not fun, for either one of us.

Recently, Sweet Ivy started to crawl (well...scoot, whatever). She's adventurous and excited to check out all the corners of the house and explores on a regular basis. This is all great news except that, now she doesn't want to sleep anymore. She fights bedtime and naptime. FIGHTS IT!! She used to lay down for both easily. We'd put her down while she was still awake, give her the paci, pull up her blankets, and she'd snuggle down and go to sleep. Not anymore. Now we lay her down, she refuses the paci, kicks the blanket away, and cries herself to sleep. EVERY TIME. This isn't even the worst part. I still have to get up with her in the night, when I do, she drinks her bottle and then throws a fit instead of going back to sleep. So I rock her in the rocking chair, and she sleeps. I try to put her back in the crib, she wakes up and throws a fit all over again. Its frustrating.

Last night I had had enough. When she woke up for her 12:45 am feeding, I gave her the bottle and she refused it. I tried to give her the paci, again she refused it. She kicked her blanket off and cried....and cried....and cried. I picked her up and rocked her, for 20 minutes and she slept. I try to lay her down, she wakes up and again throws a fit. I walked away, closed the door behind me, went back to my room, turned off the baby monitor, and went back to sleep. I don't know how long she cried, or if she cried again. I slept. I slept until 7:30 am.

Now I feel guilty, but I've come to a decision. I don't care what the doctor says. I am going to ween her from needing to eat at night. I've already got one rough night behind me! She's gaining good weight now and I don't feel she needs it anymore...and I just can't take it anymore! I think I'll keep this a secret from the doctor and nurse until its already done, so they don't try to talk me out of it. I bet her weight gain will still be fine and they won't even notice.

Ivy has survived night one, and doesn't seem food deprived or angry...on to night two!

Ps...HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAD!

Brunson Kid Updates

First off there's Ivy. This girl can now really get around. She still does her silly scoot thing, but she's getting pretty fast. I find it easy to lose track of her. The other day we were upstairs bathing the boys and I turned around for just a second to wash their hair, when I heard the unmistakable sound of something falling down the stairs. I'm not gonna lie, I think I had a mini-heart attack as i ran out of the bathroom to see her sitting at the top of the stairs staring down at the ball she had just rolled down. PHEW!!! I picked her up and brought her in the bathroom with me, stood her next to the tub to watch the boys, and now she loves it. Every time they have a bath she is standing there watching and giggling.She switched to a toddler formula at the end of the year, and loves it. She started gaining good weight. Even gaining 13 1/2 ounces in just a week. She's a superstar. She loves to eat, and is enjoying the typical Brunson family favorites, such as yogurt, cheese, and cottage cheese.

I recently met some women in my ward that have heart babies as well, although their babies aren't babies anymore, and are actually 19 year old girls. The interesting thing about them is that one of the girls has hypoplastic left heart syndrome also, and was the first baby to survive the Norwood surgery at Primary children's (that is the first surgery that Ivy had when she was 6 days old). It was great to meet them and very encouraging to hear that their daughters are doing so well. Anyway, enough on Ivy for today.

Dexter's turn. Dex is still rambunctious and crazy, and a lot of fun. He sometimes has the tendency to torture his brother and sister, but I don't think it's always on purpose. He's learning his abc's, and learning to sing songs and recognize tunes. He is loving nursery at church, even though he isn't in our class anymore.

He recently discovered an old stuffed panda bear in the toy box (I'm pretty sure we've had it forever, because I used to collect them and its probably from my teenage years), anyway, he's pretty obsessed with it and carries him around everywhere we go. He named it poobah, and loves to introduce everyone that comes over to his new best friend. It's funny and really makes us laugh. The other day he told our home teachers that its tail was not a tail, but in fact poo. We all had a good laugh, but I'm sure my face was pretty red with embarrassment.

I'm thinking of putting him in two years of preschool instead of one, just to give myself a little more sanity, so we'll probably be registering him next month and then he'd start in september. And lets face it, if he doesn't know the difference between a tail and poo, he could use a little extra school.


Corbin is also doing well. I'm constantly amazed by how smart and observant he is. Over the last couple of weeks he has become really interested in the music I listen to in the car. Even having a few favorite songs, for example we were listening to The Muse and he loved number three (Supermassive Black Hole from the Black Holes and Revelations album). He constantly requests me to "change it to number 3" and he and Dex both giggle like crazy during the whispery parts. He even recognizes music from the car if I happen to be playing it inside while I clean the house. He's so dang smart.

He is, of course, loving school. The other day was Pj day and he was a little confused about wearing his jammies to school, and I think thought I was a crazy for making him. Once he got there and realized that everyone was wearing them, he got over it, and actually had a great time watching a movie and eating snacks in his pj's with all his school friends.

He still enjoys church, and never complains about going. He had a little trouble adjusting to changing teachers in primary for the new year, but got over it quickly when he realized his new teacher was just as nice and fun as his old one. He's done really well the last couple of weeks and goes to class without shedding a tear.

Crab walk vs Crawling. You Decide.

So about a month ago I asked Ivy's physical therapist, Katy, if she was one of those people against a baby walking without ever crawling. She said she wasn't against it, but she would prefer a crawl first. I was thinking that Ivy might completely skip on the whole crawling thing since she refused to be on her hands and knees, and liked to stand. Well, as it turns out, she fooled us both and did a crab-walk first. It's like a 50% walk, 50% crawl that's 100% adorable! She first did it on December 26th, which was exactly one year to the day since she was first released from primary childrens. What a wonderful one year anniversary present! She's also pulling herself into a standing position and cruising along the furniture like crazy. She is really blossoming and its very exciting for us. Check out our cute little missy on this video and see what I mean. She is one cute little thing.



as usual, here's the link